Yikes!

Andrea posted yesterday on the Docublog that the 1000 Journals documentary went LIVE yesterday at 12:00 noon west coast time. That meant that critics and the press got to see parts of me that other than being present at the time I have never seen!

I really want to go to LA in November to be at the premier. And I really want all of the reviews to be smashing for Andrea. She has poured every ounce of herself into this and birthed it like a baby. But this is even more difficult because my babies never had to sit in front of a group of people and be judged before the world. Holding thumbs Andrea!

My birthday wish

This is the story from The StoryPeople today:

Wish for your deepest desires, she said &
when I asked if they'd come true,
she said they always do,
so you might as well get them out in the open
while you're still young enough
to correct any serious mistakes.

I thought it was appropriate for my birthday. 42. My mom died when she was 43. I never understood, really understood, how young she was. I was 21, she seemed old to me. She was so sick I think her body was much older than the calendar said by the end. And her soul was definitely much older, chronic illness has a way of doing that to some people. Most of my conscious interaction with her as a child was colored by the knowledge that she was ill and dying.

43. Until about three months ago I thought she died when she was 42. I had forgotten she had a birthday before she died. There is something that happens to a child when their parents die young. It's somehow a date stamp in the psyche that says "here and no further" - I can't explain it, but I have talked with others and it is a shared fear. I have learned in my 42 years that fears only get bigger when you don't talk about them - that they loom bigger and darker when they are hidden away and actively ignored.

So today my birthday wish is for a year of change. A year of hope. A year of freedom from fear. I begin classes for my masters program on Monday. This is a big step for me. I have a lot of fear here too. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Both options bring me a lot of fear. It's easier to live the familiar life I have now, but it's definitely not nearly as interesting.

I now know that 42 is young. 20 years of marriage. 42 years of life. I truly feel like I am just growing into all of this - like the best is still out there. This second journey gives me great hope and I can't wait to see where it takes me. Happy Birthday Heidi.

Everything must change

Good evening sports fans...

Brant nails it and explains it here.

Max and his Barlow Girl

Alinea has been home sick all week with a possible case of mono so today, as we made the TESL flash cards for the team from our church to take to Mozambique, we listened to our whole collection of Superchic[k] songs. Great bonding time over some amazing music and lyrics.

It put a huge smile on my face to see that Max Hsu has found his Barlow Girl - these wedding pictures are breath-taking.

Max + Shara by Jen Kroll

David Jay's Photos

Inner Circle is the best Facebook application ever!

I added Inner Circle on Facebook the other day and have been working with the developers to iron out the kinks. It's working now and I have found it to be a great tool to tame the growing circle of friends.

It allows you to create circles of friends that you pick for whatever reason and keep updated on their updates. None of your friends can see your circles and only you benefit from the application. There is even a feature that I haven't used yet called "Shout" that allows you to interact with each circle and begin a conversation. It looks promising.

I know I've said it before but Facebook truly is the most elegant web tool I have found to keep people in touch. It's effortless. I think Inner Circle is Facebook 2.0 and is going to make the effortless interaction of Facebook even sweeter.

Oh, and if you aren't using Facebook, why not? You obviously are reading blogs so you're online friendly - this is the next level. Really. Yes, I have drunk the Kool-Aid. I am a convert. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated...

Brant Hanson makes blogs funny again!

I feel like an old geezer saying this, but remember when you used to read blogs and they actually made you laugh out loud? Miss it? I did. Kamp Krusty is changing that for me again and Brant Hanson hit one out of the park today - enjoy!

The Krusty Sage: Get All Exorcised Over Halloween

It was 20 years ago today...

George Herbert - The Pulley

I can't say I was looking forward to reading this dusty old book for school. I have the heart of a poet, but neither the skill to write it or many times the mind set to read it. I actually prayed before opening this book that God would prepare my heart and my mind to receive these sacred old poems and was so surprised when I attempted the shortest one that God answered my prayer. It is so beautiful I was moved to tears.

The Pulley

When God at first made man,
Having a glass of blessings standing by;
Let us (said he) pour on him all we can;
Let the world's riches, which dispersed lie,
Contract into a span.

So strength first made a way;
Then beauty flow'd, then wisdom, honor, pleasure;
When almost all was out, God made a stay,
Perceiving that alone in all his treasure
Rest in the bottom lay.

For if I should (said he)
Bestow this jewel also on my creature,
He would adore my gifts instead of me,
And rest in Nature, not the God of Nature;
So both should losers be.

Yet let him keep the rest,
But keep them with repining restlessness;
Let him be rich and weary, that at least,
If goodness lead him not, yet weariness
May toss him to my breast.

Note: Title: The poem transfigures the legend of Pandora's box, from which were released all man's woes, leaving only Hope behind.

;) mark driscoll

;)

doug and bob

Island Quest Whale Watching

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the wall came tumbling down!

A Note to our Readers: We have ended TimesSelect. All of our Op-Ed and news columns are now available free of charge.

Thank you American Express!

Yippee! The only sad part is that Kristof is on book leave. Oh well, I will have to be content with his archives!!

Mac User help please!

The Institute of Contemporary and Emerging Worship has an upcoming class taught via Mac Chat and we want to record it digitally - anyone know how to do this? There has to be some internal recording available, even if there is special software needed. Please help! I will begin the research, but it would save so much time if you already knew the answer! Thanks!

Magnify + Light = Fire

My good friend Anj just posted this and I need to sit with this part some more and didn't want to forget it:

On Saturday morning, in the Powell House library we sat in early worship, and I shared with him my lectio divina for the day. It was from the book of Luke –Elizabeth saying to Mary, “And why has this happened to me, that the mother of my Lord comes to me?” A piece of Mary’s reply, the bit that spoke to me, was “My soul magnifies the Lord.” In the margins of this bible, I wrote “My soul makes bigger the Lord. My soul makes the Lord visible.” Then I wrote “ Magnifying + Light = Fire.”

Thank you Anj!

I shall miss her.

“Why does anybody tell a story?” Ms. L’Engle once asked, even though she knew the answer.

“It does indeed have something to do with faith,” she said, “faith that the universe has meaning, that our little human lives are not irrelevant, that what we choose or say or do matters, matters cosmically.”

Madeleine L'Engle - 1918-2007

Update: My good friend Dan Wilt says it so much better: "I can't wait until I remember how to walk on Water."
Madeleine L’Engle: In Memoriam

I'm going to Hollywood

Well, I don't really have a ticket (yet) but the documentary I was in 1000 Journals is finished and has been invited to compete at the AFI Fest in LA from November 1-11. I was hoping it would be at the TTFI, but no such luck.

It feels totally weird though. People I don't know watching part of my story, a very intimate part I might add, in a large room with popcorn. Life is strange and getting stranger, eh?

I'm trying to figure out how I can get out there - our student budget really isn't made for Hollywood premiers, flights to LAX and the like, but it would be cool to be part of that crowd.

UPDATE: Cool article on the films at the Festival this year: The Envelope AFI Unveils Initial Lineup

Into the opening sea

I Want to Free What Waits Within Me

I believe in all that has never yet been spoken.
I want to free what waits within me
so that what no one has dared to wish for

may for once spring clear
without my contriving.

If this is arrogant, God, forgive me,
but this is what I need to say.

May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children.

Then in these swelling and ebbing currents,
these deepening tides moving out, returning,
I will sing you as no one ever has,

streaming through widening channels
into the open sea.

Source: Book of Hours: Love Poems to God, Ranier Maria Rilke

via Inward/Outward

Carried away

An Innate Violence

There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence ... [and that is] activism and overwork. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence.

To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence.

The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.


Thomas Merton

I'm not ignoring you...

Finally I have so much to write about and no time to write. I owe emails and have so many blog post ideas in my head but life has gotten so busy. I can't wait for school to start next week - I hate that the week before my kids go back is filled up with a major project deadline that is overwhelming me at the moment.

I also hate that we have lost our cool, east coast weather and inherited the ugly mid-west humidity we have avoided for most of August. All my kids want to do is swim and have friends over and I don't have time/energy to do either. I know that I have enough time to do what needs to be done - it's just that the thoughts linger in the back of my mind that I am forgetting something...

Oh well - all I really wanted to say is that I'm not ignoring you if I owe you an email, I just want to give it more time than I have right now. Sorry for the whinging, I promise it will be over soon!

Easy Reading

Ha! I doubt it will be easy, but there is the possibility that Keith & I will have massive amounts of reading to do in the near future. We are debating starting the Masters in Ministry as a module program this October. Because we would be deciding late there is tons of reading to catch up with. I know many of you have done/are doing post graduate work and I was wondering if you have any tips or help you can offer this old brain of mine for reading.

I love to read, but mostly for enjoyment. Reading for assignment hasn't happened in over 20 years now (yikes) and I usually read now to slow my mind down and put myself to sleep at night - it's been a great discipline for rest, but not for study - and some of this reading is the kind that could put you to sleep anyway! :P

Any tips, recommendations or advice would be SO APPRECIATED!! Also any prayers as we discern the start date would also be welcome!

The Forgotten Ways of Al-Qaeda

This post from Kamp Krusty is brilliant!

Excuse Me While I Single-handedly Neutralize Al-Qaeda

Thanks Jim for head's up!

The Story of our Desolation

As I am working through the 12 steps this time I am attempting to find spiritual disciplines that marry each step. Practices I can build into my life that not only enlarge my recovery, but also my spiritual life, shore up my emotional stability and find their way into my daily routine. As part of working Step 10 I began implementing the daily examen, never really knowing just how deeply this would open up my world. I have become more in touch with my own self because of this. I am finding truths about "me" that I had never given ear to before. The benefits of this bring so much life to not only my recovery but my well being and my relationship with God.

The guide I have been using for this has been Sleeping with Bread by the Linns. It has been incredible for me to find this simple, gentle way, written with such love and ease. It is truly a gift. At the end of the book there is a chapter of questions. I almost skipped this because they have done such a good job at answering my own I thought I wouldn't need it - I'm so glad I didn't. It's as rich as the chapters.

One of the major objections I have heard from people outside of recovery, most of them Christians, is that they struggle with the misconception that it dwells on the negative. "Hi my name is Heidi and I am a compulsive overeater" - I have heard that people think it labels the negatives instead of thinking on the positive healing that comes from recovery. I have also sensed from others through the years that people avoid it because they don't want to feel the negative emotions that come with recovery. That's what gets us into problems in the first place, right?

I have found the opposite to be true. Uncomfortable, difficult, but true.

The question asked in the book is:

You are encouraging me to be with and listen to desolation as well as consolation. I was taught to resist or go against desolation. Why are you saying the opposite?

An axiom that I have learned in recovery is "The good news is that you get your feelings back. The bad news is that you get your feelings back." I have found this to be true. All of the things that I had so stuffed down with food come back to me so frequently - and feeling the pain of the emotions is what got me into this in the first place, right? Actually, no. I have found that exactly the opposite is true. It is feeling the tinglings of the fear of the emotion and driving it away that got me here. If I had been taught how to own my emotions and fears instead of avoiding them I could have learned to do life without the crutches of my addictions.

The Linns answer the question this way:

We agree that our attitude toward desolation is somewhat different than you may have been taught. Our present attitude is somewhat different from what we were taught, too. We were taught that many of our desolations, such as feelings of lust, anger, etc., were sinful. Sometimes such feeling states were called "capital sins." The truth in this teaching is that we need to resist the impulse to act upon feelings in a way that would be harmful to ourselves or others. For example, feelings of lust if acted upon might result in promiscuity, or feelings of anger if acted upon might result in violence.

Yet this teaching often missed the distinction between acting upon feelings and listening to their story. Such teaching assumed that if we resisted certain feelings, they would go away. However, this isn't how our feelings work. When feelings are ignored or resisted, they grow inside us and are likely to eventually lead to an explosion in which we act out in even more destructive ways than we might have at first. We believe that what negative feelings or desolations really want is not destructive behavior but rather to have their story heard. When their story is heard they are satisfied and they quiet down naturally. If we then take steps to meet the needs revealed by the story, this desolation is unlikely to recur.

Our emphasis on hearing the story behind our desolation is consistent with the teaching of great spiritual writers like St. Ignatius. When, for example, we follow his suggestion to look at the beginning, middle and end of any temptation or his suggestion to discover the roots of what he called "sin," we are beginning to listen to the story of our desolation. Any process can help reveal the story of our desolation if it puts us in touch with what started it (the beginning), what keeps it going now (the middle) and what it needs to be resolved (the end). Contemporary psychology, which has helped us understand the nature of the unconscious, the dynamics of emotions and the results of emotional wounding, has given us new tools for hearing our desolations' story.

(Emphasis mine - especially the part about story!) Oh my - I just love it when something I believe to be true is affirmed elsewhere. It is so deeply moving to me. Like deep calling to deep. I think I need to read some Ignatius soon!

INFJ/INTJ??

Thinking/feeling? I'm close - 47/53 on this one - strategist or defender... this is really making me think... any input?

Defender:

ISFJs are traditional, loyal, quiet and kind. They are very sensitive to other people's needs because they are very observant. They have rich inner thoughts and emotions. They value stability and cultural norms. They are very adept at giving attention to detail. They do not seek positions of authority.

Strategist:

INTJs are introspective, analytical, determined persons with natural leadership ability. Being reserved, they prefer to stay in the background while leading. Strategic, knowledgeable and adaptable, INTJs are talented in bringing ideas from conception to reality. They expect perfection from themselves as well as others and are comfortable with the leadership of another so long as they are competent. INTJs can also be described as decisive, open-minded, self-confident, attentive, theoretical and pragmatic.

I'm also very close on the judging/perceiving too...

It's too noisy to do anything else...

Caring for Your Introvert

My good friend and fellow introvert Dan Wilt just published a link to this - and I want/need to read it:

Caring for Your Introvert

iPods to help fight human trafficking

Business Travellers Against Human Trafficking » iPods to help fight human trafficking

Stand by the poor

Seeking Poverty - Anonymous

You seek poverty not for its own sake,
nor from contempt or fear
for the good things God gives you,
but because you want to contribute something
to alleviate the world's poverty,
to make even your own possessions available.
...
Live like a poor person
without parading your poverty.
Stand by the poor wherever they live and work.
Your first love must go out
to the least of these.
Don't tie yourself down to the rich or powerful
of the world.

Source: Rule for a New Brother

via inward/outward

Justice in the Burbs

How can you love two people so much when you've never met face to face before? I don't know, but two of my most favorite people in the blogosphere, who also happen to love each other so much and HAVE met face to face are Will and Lisa Samson. I am pleased as punch to hear of their new endeavor together and want to highlight it here on my blog.

Most of you if you've been reading my blog for some time already know of Will and Lisa, but just in case you don't their blogs alone are reason enough to get to know them, let alone their writing. They are living out the kingdom in Lexington, Kentucky and have put so much of what they have learned and who they are into the pages of this work. I have yet to lay my little fingers on it - but can't wait to begin to plumb it's depths.

It is a practical guide to kingdom living for those of us who can't drop everything and join that commune we've always dreamed of. Mother Theresa said it best: “We can do no great things; only small things with great love.”

Here's what Lisa and Will have to say about in their own words:



Here's what others have to say:

"Will and Lisa have joined talents to offer a compelling argument for living justly in an unjust world, and for loving our neighbors in a hands-on, life-changing way." LIZ CURTIS HIGGS, author, Bad Girls of the Bible.

"Whatever happened to the vital social and moral energies of the Christian faith? They are alive and throbbin in this book that shows how the gospel can walk the missing sidewalks and unfriendly cul-de-sacs of the suburbs." LEONARD SWEET, Drew Theological School, George Fox University.

"Will and Lisa are provocateurs of imagination, writing for a desert where folks are thristy for more than the American dream. This is a much-needed invitation for justice to flow throught the suburbs liek mighty waters and bring to life all the parched souls trapped in the ghettos of poverty and wealth." SHANE CLAIBORNE, activist, author, The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical.

"Will and Lisa Samson's new book, Justice in the Burbs, is a moving book. I wept with joy, knowing how many people will be moved to join the work for justice God has already begun in the world." CHRISTIAN SCHAREN, author, One Step Closer: Why U2 Matters to Those Seeking God.

follow the Justice in the Burbs blog for yourself here.

buy your own copy of Justice in the Burbs here on Amazon

Congratulations Will & Lisa - I am just so excited and proud of this amazing product. I can't wait to see what it releases into the kingdom!

Eventually we will walk into the light

Needed this reminder this morning:

Hope and faith seem related, but faith is the one who stays when hope has left with a whimper. When hope gives up, faith rolls up her sleeves and asks; " What needs to be done?". Faith is the strong one. Faith does not have the luxury of self pity and despondent despair. Faith is what makes us put pen to paper when we feel like we have nothing left to say and there is no ink in our proverbial pen. Faith pushes on when hope flees. Doubt is hope's other face and who knows what face will show up because hope and doubt are flip sides of an emotion.

Faith is knowledge and action and faith remembers that we've seen hard times before and that in those hard times our needs were met and the water flowed and we had what we needed when we needed it. Faith knows what hope forgets. Faith is what enables us to become more than we are because faith is belief in action. Faith and courage are the true cousins. While we may doubt that we can cross the desert, faith knows that we can take the step we need to take today and that with enough steps, eventually we will walk into the light.

Create and live in faith.

Max Hsu

Protected by silence

Waiting is endless.... I wait because I am powerless to do anything else. I wait because what I most treasure is what is deepest within and protected by silence. Out of waiting comes patience. Out of accepting my powerlessness comes strength and love and the courage to dare.

Christian Lore Weber
from The Cup of Our Life, Joyce Rupp

Hope next summer is different!

Received this from family on the Green Isle. We're saving our pennies to head there next summer as Keith's wonderful Granny turns 100!!!

Don`t touch me till October

That was the refrain I heard all summer long in my teen years at Lake Geneva Youth Camp from a dear friend Bob Carrera. Bob was a mountain of a man and had the sense of humor to match. People would go to give him a hug and he`d say `Don`t touch me till October` - it would always make me laugh.

New Brunswick has just gotten the heat wave the rest of the world seems to be suffering from and I`m hating it. I just melt, sweat and whine. Our computers are giving us problems too - nothing major, Keith just doesn`t have the time to fix them yet, so I am solving two problems at once today - blogging at the library and soaking in their lovely air conditioning. I`m sure it will make going back outside into the heat even worse, but for right now it is glorious!

Hope you`re getting through the heat!

Never Gonna Happen Dinner Meme

Marko has blogged his dream dinner guests and turned it into a meme of sorts. Here are the rules:

- the person has to either be a) dead, or b) alive, but no way you’ll ever have a chance to have dinner with them.
- real people only. no fictional characters.
- it’s not 6 individual dinners. it’s a dinner party with 6 people (plus you). think of the mix.
- assume no language barriers. in other words, it doesn’t matter if they speak or spoke another language than you and your other guests. you have magic instant translation technology.
- Jesus doesn’t count. it’s a dinner party. therefore, 2 or more are gathered. therefore, Jesus is already there.

I've been in a blogging blah so I thought maybe this would shake something loose.

1. I'd have to start with Joan Chittester, Sister Joan has been a wonderful voice in the wilderness for me in these past few years. Her social conscience and prophet's tongue get to the heart of the matter very quickly. Keith & I have been working through her Rule of Benedict for far too long now! She understands deeply about being a woman in the church under that stained glass ceiling and still fully uses her voice and gifts. I just love her.

2. Parker Palmer - His book Let Your Life Speak changed my life. Understanding that "in and through" the emotional landscape instead of the duck and cover that I had learned growing up gave my life a richness and depth I never understood before. His authenticity and articulation of big thoughts shakes everything loose in me and helps me put it back together.

3. Anne Lamott - the kingdom doors blew wide when I first read her work. I grew up being told Methodists weren't conservative enough to go to heaven, let alone Philistines like Anne. And yet she loved Jesus in such a fresh new way, and He loved her right back. Her humor on this journey spills into my own and makes me look at life in a way I had never done before. She is an inspiration to me and I adore her.

4. Stephen King - I hate horror movies, but this man has a rich soul. His prolific writing always captures my imagination and I would love to pick the brain of a man who struggled with his own demons in Delores Claiborn and found redemption in Shawshank & the Green Mile.

5. The Apostle Paul - no, not to be spiritual - I really want the straight goods - untarnished by translators. I want it from the horse's mouth. Give him a chance to set the record straight. I also think he'd be a much better story teller in person than he was in scripture. I'd really like to see his heart and find out what he thinks of the mess we've made of the church today.

6. Hadewijch of Brabant - she was a Benguine mistress martyred for her work with the poor, orphaned and sick. The church despised these amazing women, working outside of their power, but doing the work of Christ. She is one of my heroes and I long to pick her brain and sit and listen to the way they did the hard work of caring for the forgotten.

So there's my list - all authors, storytellers and saints of some strange distillation - I could make a dozen more lists - but this one I think would be a marvelous blend of insight and clarity. Three women, three men - all with great passion and prophetic voices. All have influenced me deeply and I fear one dinner just wouldn't be enough to find the answers to every question I have.

Thanks Marko - great challenge! I'm going to tag a few:

Dan Wilt - Conversations on Emerging Worship

Mark Peterson - Open Hands

Bob Carlton - The Corner

Renee - Ianua.org

Hope - A Song Not Scored for Breathing

Lisa - Author Intrusion

and anyone else who'd like to play! Just leave a comment if you do and I'll link to you!

This is the truth

Found at Vanguard Church blog where Bob found it from Granger Community Church - it really does turn things upside down.

Home again, home again

Jiggity jig... my mother said that almost every time we drove into our driveway when I was a child. I have no idea where it comes from, most likely a nursery rhyme that I've lost the words to.

Well, the Turner Family Vacation and Mechanics Tour of the Northeast has ended and we are all home safe and sound. What a wonderful trip. What an exhausting trip. We realized on the trip that we have never taken a two week vacation before - what we have missed! It is the perfect amount of time to really disengage and withdraw from life and revitalize ourselves.

Here are some of the memories:

• Two weeks on a double air mattress!
• Two flat tires, one leaving and one returning (it wasn't the quality of the tires, but of the valve - somehow the right side valves both cracked (need to get the left side checked!!)
• 3 U-joints needing replaced in Ontario (one was bad, but we decided to get all 3 replaced)
  
• Stretched cable from the transmission to the engine causing the car to rev and not change gears in the stretch from Niagara Falls to Pennsylvania
• Two very happy campers who adored Rock Mountain Bible Camp
• One incredible week reconnecting with my sister, Denise and her family - especially my lovely, adorable niece Marybeth.
• A piddling, leaking radiator that we needed to babysit like a rebellious teenager and can hopefully replace now that we are home - maybe they'll be able to locate the missing part that didn't come in the two that were ordered before we left...
• The most amazing mechanic in Pennsylvania who fixed things on the Volvo that we didn't even know were wrong - and the wonderful assurance that our transmission is spotless and we should get years left our of her!
• Amazing fireworks on Canada Day right out the front door of my in-laws home.
• Getting to know my niece Olivia & nephew Clark. I will never hear the word "cousins" and not think of the adorable way in which she says it - it's like a great big sigh.
• Enjoying their gorgeous view and home and being mesmerized by their 150 gallon fish tank. If I wasn't so dang lazy and afraid I'd kill the investment of the fish I'd really think about replacing our TV with one - it was so relaxing to sit and watch them swim.
  
• A wonderful night stay at The Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls, ON (and a real live bed to sleep in!)
• Camping again for a week reminded me just how very much I love civilization - although we were treated royally by the amazing camp kitchen staff and I was never once required to cook or clean ANYTHING! God bless Rock Mountain Bible Camp!
• Waking up to an incredible, peaceful view of the lake every morning right out our front zipper. Sitting with our coffee (yes, we brought our Cuisinart coffee maker on the trip to grind our beans every morning! We're addicted)
• Two dousing rainstorms that we enjoyed as they played on the roof of the tent knowing we were dry and safe.
• IKEA - do you think it's fair people in the Toronto area have THREE while the rest of us do without??
• Reconnecting with Keith's family and having brothers & sister in the same place at the same time - nobody gets a word in edgewise!
• The mini-reunion with Deb, Erin & Lynne - it was so sweet to spend time with those amazing women!
  
• Seeing Alinea & Jacob with their grandparents is such a beautiful thing.
• A last night stay in Saco, Maine just minutes away from Ocean Park where we worshipped Sunday a.m. at the Temple. A round wooden structure built in 1881, singing old hymns and having my kids hear Tony Campolo for the first time - and having him kiss and hug them on the way out of church afterward. He is my hero and I was reminded again why. He is the best storyteller and his love for the real Jesus and his unabashed ability to challenge each and every one sitting under his teaching to fall madly in love with that Jesus and live a life of sacrifice. It was the icing on the cake for me. No, really it was the cake, and the rest was the icing. Such a wonderful end to a wonderful time.

Thank you so much for your prayers while we were away - it helped us face the mechanics and car trouble with a much brighter attitude and made family interactions much richer I'm sure. It's good to be home again. Jiggity jig.

Whew, what a trip!

Finally have access to some real time in front of a computer with internet access. This trip has been incredible! We loved our drive here through the New Hampshire and Vermont mountains and quickly cut across I-90 in New York to celebrate Canada Day with Keith's mom Dorothy & step-father George. They live on the Hamilton Bay and we are so impressed with the beauty that is being restored to that part of the city. What we didn't enjoy at all was the noise that our 20 year old Volvo made as it chugged into their driveway.

Not knowing much about cars we assumed it was the transmission and the death of "Vanna" (our endearing term for her as I just couldn't get the term "put this in the van" out of my vocabulary after driving a van for 10 years, thus we called her "Vanna"). We feared the worst and knew that having to find another vehicle was going to be a more expensive proposition that we wanted to consider. George has a good friend who has a large mechanic shop in Hamilton and Vanna was towed in. Great news, it was the U joint. They decided to fix all three (Volvo's have three - who knew?) and after $410 and many phone calls and impatient waiting for it to get done we were back on the road yesterday and spent last night sleeping at the Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls, Ontario.

This was our touristy reward for camping. It is water slides and wonderful touristy time together. Alinea & Jacob are in their glory.

I am so excited to be able to spend time with my family as my father is already in South Gibson, PA (near Scranton) with my sister Denise & her husband Andrew and their beautiful baby girl Marybeth. We have not been all together for years. Ali & Jake are attending camp for the week and Keith & I are camping on the grounds as they have a camp ground attached to the camp property.

We sure do appreciate the prayers and are so enjoying our family and friend time.

One of the highlights of the trip for me was Thursday night when I was able to spend the night in Oronto, New York on Lake Ontario (yes, the gorgeous house was RIGHT on the lake) with my blogging/Path friends Deb, Erin & Lynne. We had such an amazing time together and it felt so good to just be "me" and not "mom" for a night.

Hope you're all enjoying your summer too!

Holiday

Well, the Volvo is FINALLY repaired and we are heading out tomorrow as planned. One week in Ontario with Keith's family and a week in Northeast Pennsylvania with mine. My sister Denise and her husband Andrew are working at a camp there and Ali & Jake are going to attend Junior Camp. My father Erv is coming from Wisconsin to join us. It should be a wonderful time for all. Happy Canada Day & 4th of July - enjoy the celebrations and we'll be checking in from time to time as we have internet access.

Afraid to Be Alone

Peter has been talking about Life Together, Bonhoeffer and community at church lately and this quote just sprang out at me today - from inward/outward

Many people seek fellowship because they are afraid to be alone. Because they cannot stand loneliness, they are driven to seek the company of other people. There are Christians, too, who cannot endure being alone, who have had some bad experiences with themselves, who hope they will gain some help in association with others. They are generally disappointed. Then they blame the fellowship for what is really their own fault. The Christian community is not a spiritual sanatorium. The person who comes into a fellowship because he is running away from himself is misusing it for the sake of diversion, no matter how spiritual this diversion may appear. He is really not seeking community at all, but only distraction which will allow him to forget his loneliness for a brief time, the very alienation that creates the deadly isolation of man.

Source: Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Savage Joy

Real Live Preacher has been one of my favorite reads for years now. Every so often he opens the door of his heart on parenting his three daughters. It is always a beautiful thing.

As Alinea and Jacob have so recently grown past the stage of needy childhood I resonate so deeply with these words:

I was drawn to my little girls in those days in ways that are quickly fading as the three sisters grow into young women. Our biological connection showed itself in my love of the smell of their scalps, my physical and intense need to hold them, and my desire to feel their small bodies pressed against my own as we watched movies together on the couch. And I always had a strong attraction to the sounds they made. Their voices were a kind of OM for me, a sound from below all sounds, a noise from the foundation of my existence. Hearing my daughters play was a joyful thing, and the ache of its absence will never heal. It is a wound I will carry as long as I walk this earth.

The best things are like this, aren’t they? They are savage and untamed. Like a great sunset, they can be discovered by chance and enjoyed, but never owned. Like love they can be received but not bought. The best things in life ride a ticklish wave along the surface of your skin, leaving raised hairs in their wake. They move through the world leaving no visible sign. You cannot follow them, nor anticipate their direction and wait for them in a blind.

You will come across spontaneous, unique moments of joy like this now and again. They are Life’s gifts to us all. They come to the washed and the unwashed, to the common and the sophisticated, to the rich and the poor, to the just and the unjust.

Moments of savage joy are there for all of us to find. If you haven’t seen one lately, you only need to slow down a bit and keep your eyes open. I can give you no counsel beyond that. But if you come across a moment of wild, untamed joy, for God’s sake eat it; drink it; hear it; receive it. This is the stuff of life. It doesn’t get any better.

You can read the whole post here: Savage Joy

Healing but never whole

It always gives me peace to find out that maybe I'm not the only person who struggles. My friend highlighted this poem on her blog today and wrote so honestly about her own struggles in marriage. She remembered reading this poem way back before she was married and how it returned to her at just the right time.

It's timing for me is perfect too:

Marriage

It is to be broken.
It is to be torn open.
It is not to be reached and come to rest in ever.
I turn against you, I break from you, I turn to you.
We hurt, and are hurt, and have each other for healing.
It is healing.
It is never whole.

by Wendell Berry

You can read what my dear, deep friend Claudia Mair wrote about Wendell and marriage here: Wendell had it right

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Living so far away from family our kids are given lots of $ gifts from the grandparents and since we started the "share, save, spend" back last Christmas our son Jake has been saving his pennies. We had told him if he saved 1/2 of the cost of a Nintendo Wii we would pitch in the other half. Well, today he called our bluff and we are now have our Mii's bowling with the best of them.

It is a happy day for the Turner children. I on the other hand never realized virtual bowling can cause back pain... sigh. You know you're in REALLY BAD SHAPE when you hurt your back playing video games...

Making Bubbles & Bubble Wands

I am in charge of the bubble booth at our kids carnival this weekend and am doing research on the best, least expensive (read FREE) ways to make bubbles in big batches for lots and lots of kids.

Here's what I've found:

Magic Bubbles - Creative Kids At Home

Bubble Town - Bubble Making Solution

Bubble Town - Bubble Making Device

eHow - How to make a giant bubble wand

DIY Bubbles & Bubble Wands

Martha Stewart Living - Bubble Wands

WikiHow - How to Create and Use a Large Bubble Wand

One of the reasons I love living in St. Stephen

My friend Dan wrote this gem about one of our town gems Dot, our local crossing guard (who by the way is the TOP crossing guard in all of Canada!):

DanWilt.com :: Conversations On Emerging Worship - Moments in Time - Dot the Crossing Guard"

Cape Enrage, New Brunswick

 

 

 

 

Hopewell Rocks, New Brunswick

 

 

 

 

Did you really need a sign to tell you?

Saw this on the island the other day and it gave me a good chuckle.

 

 

A foggy day in Grand Manan - Part Three

 

 

 

 

A foggy day in Grand Manan - Part Two

 

 

 

 

Foggy Grand Manan - Part One

 

 

 

 

Obvious Mistake

Some of the stuff I
learned early on was useful,
she told me,
but most of it was
obviously meant for
someone who was not me.

STORYPEOPLE - Brian Andreas

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Takin' the ferry today

I got an invitation to join my beloved on the Big Island today - we are taking the ferry to Grand Manan. It's a major sea-going vessel and I have to admit I am a bit nervous as I don't know how my constitution will respond to those waves! I am excited to see the Swallowhead Lighthouse and maybe spot some wild life. I am still on the "Great Puffin Hunt"

Last night when we were doing the food collection we got to see a mother wood chuck carrying her baby right across Main Street. I was so afraid they were going to get smushed right in front of us. I think I might have dived right into traffic to stop it. More to keep my kids from having to be a witness to it than to save the wildlife, but that might have motivated me a bit too.

Hope you have a glorious day! I'll post pictures, promise!

A Better Storyteller

Too many wonderful links today! LOVE Donald Miller!!
A Better Storyteller | Christianity Today: "'The chief role of a Christian,' he says, 'is to tell a better story.'"

It's all about mission

Bart Campolo has linked to a good friend of his in Toronto who is doing amazing missional community work - amazing article!
Anglican Diocese of Toronto: "It's all about mission, says speaker"

Hunger Awareness Day

Helping with the local food drive here tonight - I'm sure your community is doing something special today too - please be generous and share with the hungry in your communities!

Hunger Awareness Day

Want to be perfect?

Reading today from "Praying with Jesus, Eugene Peterson" - June 5th. I was surprised by the tone of this small/mondo beyondo verse:

"If you wish to be perfect, go, sell your possessions, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." Matthew 19:21

The young man thought he had kept the Levitical command, "Love your neighbor as yourself," but it had never occurred to him that his neighbor might be the poor man, and love might have something to do with how he spent his money.

Who are some of the unseen neighbors in your life?

PRAYER: I know the commands, O God, but I need your help in seeing the people and circumstances where my obedience is commanded. Open my hands that have been clutching possessions; open my eyes, too long blind, to certain neighbors. Amen.

Taking care of the inside of things

As some of you know I adore the high-priestess herself, Anne Lamott and am slowly relishing her newest book, Grace (Eventually). Today found me in the chapter "Cheese Monster" where she is processing her relationship with her mother and how having a teen-ager mellowed the anger of her grief and allowed her to be far more sympathetic to her memory. I am finding so much resonance in her words as I walk this similar path.

This paragraph leapt off the page at me and I wanted to shout a loud AMEN to no one but myself. She verbalizes the ethereal difference that I have tried to put words to between those families who stride through life, seemingly effortlessly, while others stall, stumble and struggle forever.

"My mother's bed always looked like Krakatoa, unless I made it, because she didn't have a clue that you could take care of the inside of things, like friends or your own heart, by tending to surfaces: putting on a little moisturizer, say, or making the bed. Surfaces were strictly for tricking nonfamily into thinking you and your family were enviable, more functional than you were."

This is why recovery has been so important in my life. It has helped me where parenting fell short. Caring for the inside of things was never taught to me. It was probably never taught to my parents either. Generations of my bloodline have probably all struggled with making the outside seem far stronger than the inside could ever bear.

I have found that far too many churches tend to focus on the surfaces too. How tragic it is that those of us who know the Centre are spending too much time on the exterior instead of the core. God forgive us and help us to help these families find and care for the core.

How (Not) to Speak of God

I have got to get my hands on this book:

“…I discovered a way to embrace both the wisdom of those who would say that God is unspeakable, and must therefore be passed over in silence, and the wisdom of those who would say that God can, and must, be expressed. The union can be articulated like this:

That which we cannot speak of is the one thing about whom and to whom we must never stop speaking.

…those within the emerging conversation perceive a very different way of understanding theology. It is no longer thought of as a human discourse that speaks of God but rather as the place where God speaks into human discourse. In other words, theology is understood as the site in which revelation makes its appearance in the world…If theology comes to be understood as the place where God speaks, then we must seek, not to speak of God, but rather to be that place where God speaks…Our ‘theological’ musings can thus be called a/theological insomuch as they acknowledge that we must still speak of God (theology, as traditionally understood) while also recognizing that this speech fails to define God (a/theology).”

Peter Rollins, “How (Not) to Speak of God” (Brewster, MA: Paraclete Press, 2006), xiii, 21

ht - Adam Walker Cleavland - pomomusings